Two different situations God has given me in life after age 26

First when I.obeyef and followed everything tild to me afviced me by my older Dibkings. whst i was gaining was , exoerience self Confidence, being independent , nonexowctation, no feelings no emotions. What i was loosing, mybesrnings were Controlled , I was unabke to fet or vuy What i wiah to hv. I managed my.life abd exoences within my own Controlled , self controlled. Even after married life was just the same. just lime befire married. No expectation abd no regrets. but evenings dissapointed , when hubby goes out almost everyday and Comes home at mid night, the ecxuse given, he was in his uncles house. I started to hv my iwn hobbies aftet kids goes to bed. i syarted reading, started stitching clothes fur my.kids. ved sheets, blankets, curtains, door mats. O started to keep my hiuse as ckean as I can abd started to fix, loveky curtains which i stitch my self. Small giuse neatmy kept, kids taken good Care. As my jids started growing up. More cincetn shown by daddy, he biught samval n curries several tyoes frm outside during lunch hour. At times i fekt ,as a mom , im not neefed in rjis house, wjen ge started buying curry n sambal wvetyday frm restayrabts, evwn though i hv ciiked several meals daily. purposeky he was buying and g.feeding my kindrfarden children. I realize. famik ly needs onky 1 mother and not 2. Si I started attending cources related to my profession whenever requesterd by school admind. He starts fight almost daily for no reason, At ti